Little Things
by OkamiKimz
Summary: A collection of NaLu oneshots I have written over time. Rated M for swearing / possible adult themes in future.
1. Pranking a Stranger

"AHA! I got you this time, you bitch!"

Lucy Heartfilia leaped out from her hiding place behind the couch, grinning at the person who had just walked in the door. A now-empty bucket lay next to the figure, the doorway drenched with its contents.

Come to think of it, the figure standing in the doorway seemed a bit large to be Levy. Taller and a lot more muscular... Oh, shit.

"You're... Not Levy...?" Lucy's jaw dropped open in horror at what she'd just done to this poor, unsuspecting man.

He blinked at her in shock.

"Oh my- oh my god, I'm so sorry. I thought- come in! Come in!" Lucy grabbed his arm and practically dragged the surprised man into her house. "Ah... I'll get you a towel! Wait here!"

Before he could say a word, she had rushed off into another room. He stood there, drenched in cold water, his clothes dripping water onto the floor. Had this woman not heard of being _cautious_ of strangers?! Although, he supposed she was mortified that she had just pranked a clearly innocent man.

He looked around the room. She lived in a rather cosy house, although this was just what appeared to be her lounge room. There was a couch, a TV, and a desk littered with paper and a pen.

Before he could investigate the contents of the papers on her desk, she rushed back into the room holding a large, fluffy white towel...

... And promptly threw it at his face.

"Who the hell are you?!" She yelled at him, apparently just realizing she had never met him before.

He rubbed the towel over his head, drying his face and hair. "I'm Natsu Dragneel. I'm a friend of Levy and Gajeel."

Natsu grinned at her and offered his hand out.

Lucy hesitantly shook his hand. "Oh. Levy's mentioned you before."

"She didn't mention that you had pink hair, though."

At those words, Natsu frowned indignantly. "It's salmon!"

Lucy laughed. "Well, come on in, sit on the couch. I'll dry your clothes. I'm sure I can find something to fit you meanwhile." She smiled at him, heading towards her room.

"Girl clothes..." Natsu shuddered at the mere thought.

"... Oh yeah... How come you're here? Where's Levy?" Lucy asked, pausing in the doorway and staring at him.

Natsu snorted and put on his best imitation of Levy. Which, by the way, was pathetic. "Oh, she called me this morning. 'Natsu, please help me out! I'm sick in bed and Lu-chan's expecting me to go over to her place... Please go for me, and let her know I'm sick!'"

Lucy giggled at his impression. "You know, she could have called me herself."

Natsu stared at her wide-eyed. "I..." His expression went dark. "I'm going to kill her."

-

"Gihi."

Gajeel held the phone to his ear, sneakily peering through Lucy's window.

"How's it going? Did the plan work?" Levy asked, her voice impatient.

"Of course, Shrimp. They're hitting it off fine." He replied, smirking as he headed back to his car.

"Perfect! Operation Get-Lucy-A-Boyfriend is in session!"


	2. Pregnancy Test

"Ugh..." Natsu groaned, his head buried in his arms. "The fuck am I gonna do..."

"What is it, man?" Gray sat at the bar stool beside him, downing a glass of beer.

"I fucked up. Lucy's gonna kill me. We forgot the condom."

Gajeel snorted, spitting out his mouthful of alcohol and cracking up in laughter.

"Yeah, you're fucked flame brain." Gray laughed with Gajeel.

"Fuck off, ice princess! You too, Gajeel! I bet you've done the same thing with Levy!" Natsu snapped, glaring at the two.

"Gihi. Nah, unlike you two idiots, I've got a brain."

"Don't lump me in with that pyro!"

"Guys! Seriously! Advice would be great!"

"Have you even done a pregnancy test yet?"

...

"A what?" Natsu blinked, staring at Gajeel as if he'd grown another head.

"You don't know?! Oh god, I feel bad for Lucy!" Gray laughed harder than before, leaning back and falling off his seat.

"It's a stick that you pee on to find out if you're pregnant or not." Gajeel explained.

"I still cant believe you didn't know that..." Gray chuckled, climbing back onto the stool, his shirt and jeans missing.

"Pervert..." Natsu muttered. "Whatever! I'll go get one of those sticks!"

-

"Lucy! We're not pregnant!"

"What?" Lucy looked over at Natsu, who had just emerged from the bathroom.

... Wait. Was he holding a pregnancy test?

"We're not pregnant!" He repeated, rushing over and showing her the negative result.

"... Natsu..." She began, trying to find the right words to explain this without the word 'idiot'.

"I'm not sure you realized this, but... Men don't take pregnancy tests."

Natsu blinked. "Why not?"

"Because women get pregnant. Not men."

"Yeah?"

"So how would _you_ taking a pregnancy test prove _I'm_ not pregnant?"

... Oh.

Realization dawned on Natsu's face.

"I WASTED $15 ON THIS STUPID THING!"


End file.
